Thursday, August 11

On my mind

I haven't posted for awhile, so Katy has been good with keeping everyone up-to-date on the Kinnan journey of life. I'm struggling with how to effectively craft the wide range of different thought trails in my head into an understandable account of what I'd like you to hear and understand.

So...I give up. Here is what I have been thinking about lately:

Death (gloomy, huh?)
I think my heart has been broken lately, but I haven't noticed it until thinking about what to write on our blog. Many of you who read this already know of a death that occured last brother thru "best man" of our wedding...His time with his beautiful little girl was stopped at an unexpected time. An unpredicatable accident concluded the life of my friend's daughter...a life that I'm confident was full of potential and adventure.

You see, when I worship God, I praise Him for His mercy and grace, His provisions and protection...but I find it difficult to praise Him in this situation. I'm not mad or angry with God...I just don't understand. I do see possible "blessings" which can stem off a horrible circumstance such as this:
  • Josh and Shelley now have an experience to share with others that might bridge gaps which were not possible without walking this difficult road.
  • Ava is in a better place than earth even though many miss her here.
  • God's understanding of the past, present and future is much greater than's perfect. Without knowing the future, I can't charge God with wrongdoing
See, what I've written isn't exactly what my brain is thinking, but I hope we all give our loved-ones a tighter hug today. Don't leave without saying "I love you." Breathe in the air and act spontaneous. Earth is not our "finaly resting place" (that sounds odd)...eternity with God is greater than anything I can imagine and I find peace in that. I know Ava knows truths about God that I'll have to wait to discover...almost makes me jealous.

Sadly enough, I am preaching my very first "real sermon series" and here is what I'm learning:
  • It is much, much easier to preach a series than it is to preach a different topic each week.
  • It is much, much easier to preach every week than it is once every 4-6 weeks.
  • I love to communicate. If you're head is nodding when I'm speaking, you're fueling me because whether your nodding off or actually getting what I'm saying...I'm thinking the later. So, thanks!
There is no greater community in life than our individual family communities. My sister and bro-in aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews...they all make me smile. If they were all I had in life, I wouldn't have a complaint.

Bi-Vocational Ministry
It's my personal hell because if I were to visit hell (which I do not desire to do so), it would be a day in which I would have to continue working bi-vocationally. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but splitting my mind to focus on two full-time jobs is worse than any enternal fire that I can think of. (don't argue this because, yes, my arguement is weak).

Baby #2
When do you decide to make one? If God were to give me a sign, I would choose 4 KC strip steaks to show up mysteriously in the mail. Is that too specific?

I'm at 40% of my goal: 4 homeruns. I've sat out the last 5 games because of a "old man injury" but this weekend brings the infamous "David tore his calf at this same tourney last year" tourney. We'll see what happens.

It's been nice to surf upon a few former college friend's blogs.

Ok, that's my brain for the day...the serious and the solemn.

If I haven't told you lately, I love you...not because of anything you do, but because I'm loved undeservingly so I would like to do the same for you. So, in your low times...know you really are loved.


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