I'm thinking again...
All the way through the completion of my college degree, I claimed a "pursuit to know God intimately" several times in conversations with friends and acquaintances. It was easy to speak in that direction because it would never be challenged by any of the hearers...just the comment itself seemed to imply that I was already at an intimate level with God.
Have you ever said or heard, "I believe Jesus Christ is my Savior and I trust Him whole-heartedly"...I have. However, I wonder if that statement was more of a claim than actual ownership. For example, when Chris Columbus "discovered" America...he claimed the ground but certainly didn't have ownership of anything...he wanted ownership...eventually he would have ownership (kinda)...but at that moment, all he had was an authentic claim.
I remember "claiming" my relationship with Jesus Christ. It was a Wednesday evening after CYC (can I get a holla from my fellow Crusaders!)...praying on my bed w/ my Mom.
I remember "claiming" my full-time call to serve God as a shepherd of his people...summer after my 7th grade year at youth camp when Gary Schnepp spoke and asked the "called" to come up on stage...also...Impact 90' Youth Conference helped confirm that "claim".
I remember battles with evil when Satan was trying to grab my "claim" or convince me to hand it over willingly...Junior year in college: Maybe I'm supposed to be a psychologist, not a pastor...Moral failure 18 months after graduating college: Maybe I'm not strong or pure enough to pastor.
My call is real...my claim to that call was real...my ownership of that call has now been refined by some of the hottest fires Satan has and I believe it now to be stronger than a simple "heritage". I wonder if there are people I encounter daily who are claiming a relationship with God, however their heart is aching for actual ownership of that claim. How many of us are craving a miraculous healing...a burning bush...a pillar of fire to guide our nights? Wanting that makes me feel weak. What if I required Katy to manifest physical proof that she loves me everyday? I see her...I can touch her...I can smell her hair...I don't need her to physically demonstrate her presence.
Isn't it tough, at times, to recognize the wonders of the human body and perfection of the rolling hills and jaw-dropping mountains? I know God made it all, but it would feel so good to smell his presence and feel the power of his hand on my shoulder.
I am called by God to share the Good News to everyone I encounter. Sometimes that's more difficult when I get so selfish in limiting how God can reveal Himself to me. "You must do this for me to believe!" How arrogant and immature! Hmmm...I wonder if I'm being taught something right now.
Marilyn Manson just came on the radio...perhaps that is causing a little "blockage". Haha...let me change the station. Great...Kelly Clarkson...not a whole lot better.
Here is a summary of my thinking right now: Is it my calling to help everyone I can to stake their claim and then teach how authentic ownership is achieved? Can that be taught?
Thinking to continue later (please give me your thoughts),
DK
5 comments:
Hey David,
I just read your blog and I had a great big glob of good feeling well up inside of me. God is using you in a wonderful way. You are a wonderful servant of the Lord. I understand some of the feelings you have. I remember some of my early days. Their were difficult times and times of great blessing and excitement in the ministry. Keep on keeping on. You and Katy are in my heart. I love you both and especially that little guy who lives with you. WOW! What a great great grandson!
Grandpa K
WOW, Man! Your words are so real and really touched me. I could relate to it all. Thank you for your ministry to me and to others.
JoEllen
We can DEFINITELY relate. There have been times where we actually questioned our call to ministry. I don't know how weird this will sound, bu just the fact that you wrote what you did tells me that you are truly seeking God with all your heart and He honors that. You can't get enough of Him, can you? We are in that stage right now. I hope it lasts!! I never want to think of my relationship with Christ as "arrived" if you know what I mean. Grow, grow, grow.
I like Tony Campolo's statement: "Jesus Christ as Savior is an established fact. The question is... is He your Lord?"
I'm not sure that authentic ownership can be taught with words, neat outlines and alliterative sermon points as we teach many other things. It can certainly be modeled though. The most effective "teachers" we know are the ones who live God so passionately that after a conversation with them we think, "I want that. I am missing something. She knows God in a way I don't. I want more of Him." Challenging thoughts for all of us! Thanks!
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